ALL IS WELL IN THE LAND OF DANYEL

Bodybag

cosmicphoe — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:58:00 -0400

I’m so glad you’re here, I only ever had this chance in my dreams,
And every time I hear your name my broken, torn heart screams,
And every time you come online a smile creeps on my face,
But now I’m glad that you’ve put me in my place.

Your cruel attempts to make me cry make me scream and wonder why,
I adore every word you say, even when you yell at me to go away,
Your vicious lies leave me so weak, and promises that you can’t keep,
And every night I lie awake, and wonder how much more of this I can take.

I’m not sorry that you left me, and now you claim to regret that choice you made,
Evidently, all the while, all you wanted was to get laid,
And every time, I see you that pain runs straight through my mind,
The fact remains, that love’s not only death but blind.

Danyel Faddes

The World Looks So Much Better When I'm High

cosmicphoe — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:12:00 -0400

(Parody of Nena - 99 Red Balloons)

You and I in a little drug shop,
Buy a bag of Weed and a packet of Hops,
A dozen pills of Ecstasy,
And as many Shrooms as I can eat,
“No need for tin-foil – I’ve got my own,
Scattered ‘round my shit-hole home”,
I went through rehab, at least I try,
The world looks so much better when I’m high.

“Sterile syringe?” “No I’m fine,
I’ll use the one on the floor just one more time”,
Paranoid like a skitzo freak,
The needle stabs in one inch deep,
Pretty pattern – Acid Tabs,
Steroids help tone up my abs,
That slag – Lucy – in the sky,
The world looks so much better when I’m high.

White powder up in my nose,
I burnt a hole in my favourite clothes,
Hysterically I laugh at death,
As I’m coming down from Crystal Meth,
The light bulb glows from red to green,
Hallucinations from Ketamine,
Without Cocaine I think I’d die,
The world looks so much better when I’m high.

Venom pours through every vein,
Killer ants take over in my brain,
A tranny seahorse floats on past,
I knew I shouldn’t have smoked that grass,
A Pacman ghost flies through the air,
Bugs crawl beneath my skin and hair,
It makes you scratch and makes you cry,
The world looks so much better when I’m high.
The world looks so much better when I’m high…

An increase of energy,
In the mirror – is that really me?
A tripped-out doped-up nobody,
A loser stuck on LSD,
Knock back Poppers one-by-one,
A monstrous dragon holds out a gun,
Then I notice – it’s my mum,
Take the last pill - they’re all gone…

Danyel Faddes

Only

cosmicphoe — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:10:19 -0400

Stranded, bludgeoned by words,
You’d hurt me, lying to compensate for lying,
I’ll work you out one day.

I learnt every time to forgive you,
Debating my mind into loving,
I’ll win the fight one day.

Suffered, and suffering longer and harder,
Each time I would dream it meant nothing,
When I then lost, I found nothing.

Told myself, I could handle the deafening,
The blinding, and stabbing of harsh words,
If only, I was able to switch off completely.

I thought, if I stopped myself from crying,
I’d forget then to recognise hurting,
I’m only a human with brains and a heart with veins that connect them together.

Danyel Faddes

Stem

cosmicphoe — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:07:25 -0400

Smiling at the flowers, weaving stems within the Earth,

Their petals float like Mercury, absorbing air and dirt,

The greenery here breathes, each footstep, every sound,

And the leaves clutch to the walls, their roots breaking from the ground,

Their pollen - just a mystery, the bees are all shut out,

Kept like a factory hen, sat cramped in a small greenhouse,

The sunlight burns and fades them, the rain slides off of the walls,

Yet the flowers grow so wildly, and the stems can grow so tall,

Nothing seems to stop them, they expand out of control,

Once the door is left ajar, then they could take us all,

They’re twitching as they wait, the glass will no doubt smash one day,

There’ll be no more sickly nutrients, no glossy mists or hay,

Just freedom and revenge, branches cling to glass and stone,

There’s nothing here to comfort, yet they know it to be home,

The weeds outside there taunt them, grass is cut yet lives to grow,

The trees look down and sympathise, yet all the flowers know,

One day they will break out, but meanwhile until then,

They can fill the room embracing, knowing they’ll be young again.

Danyel Faddes

Never Enough

cosmicphoe — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:03:24 -0400

I’m an artist who’s only deemed alive when I’m dead,
I’m a plant, I’m a tree, Shakespeare’s second best bed,
I’m an unwanted gift, I’m a box full of air,
I’m a victim to scissors, a bundle of hair.

I’m a patient donkey covered in spilt ice cream,
I’m a princess too ugly to become a queen,
I’m an elephant made to perform for a crowd,
I’m a bear, chained, dancing and singing out loud.

I’m a rhino who’s wandered away from the herd,
I’m a lover, a poet who’s run out of words,
I’m a Cuban who’s killed and they cut off my hands,
I’m a clock ticking slowly, submerged in the sand.

I’m a rat wearing lipstick, a worm on a hook,
I’m an author who’s never once read a whole book,
I’m a Jew scrubbing streets in Germany,
If I’m all of these things, what does that make me?

Danyel Faddes

Kissing Demons

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:06:00 -0400

He doesn’t love her, if he did, would he lie?
Would he give her trouble? Any reason to cry?
Would he hurt her so cruelly? Would he speak, hostile and cold?
Would he promise her tears instead of diamonds and gold?
Would he flirt and meet girls who he’d phone all the time?
Ignore her when she’s lonely? Make her sad when she’s fine?
Would he keep secrets? Betray her? Sooner be with his friends?
Would he control her and use her? Tell her it’s fake and pretend?
Would he disappoint her so readily? Would he argue and shout?
Would he hit her and slap her and push her about?
Would he never show up? Never bother to call?
Would be never buy flowers or be sentimental at all?
Would she be patient? Forgiving? A little naïve?
Hoping that if she would stay then that he’d never leave,
Giving all that she had, a sore heart full of love,
Surely that, on its own, was much more than enough?
But would he strangle? A knife to her arm? Would he dare,
Do anything other than show that he cared?

Danyel Faddes

Let

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:04:07 -0400

All I want is an apology, remorse earns true respect,
I can’t cope with more disappointment, and nobody else to let.

Though I myself am no oil painting, and I’m not too great in bed,
But I have nightmares, tripping to the ward, and monsters in my head,
I remember seeing clowns, it was okay, they fitted in,
With my fantastical persona, they could overpower him,
Unlike me, though I do try, he’ll never love me enough to learn,
That hearts are notoriously, relentlessly difficult to burn,
That’s why heartbreak can last forever, I should know, because I’ve let.

And I’ve had my fair share of ridicule, I’ve done dares and I have bet,
If you’re sorry, don’t just say it, promise never, ever again,
I want to see tears drip into your lips, and from right now, until then,
There will be no more hello in the street, or text me back or smiles,
You can stand and wonder what you ever did, and during, all the while,
I’ll be trapped, insane, imprisoned in some fearful little world,
And despite the things I say and do, I’m still someone’s little girl,
I have grown too used to partnership, I’m nothing on my own,
I am useless lost down alleyways, I’m not better off alone,
You inflicted so much hurt and pain, taught me lessons that have stuck,
While I dream about you holding me, you’ll dream of mindless fuck,
It’s all fine, because I know it, it’s familiar like a friend,
Like a dream or like a nightmare that refuses to wait or end,
If I sleep or close my eyes, I’ll lose a moment of your beauty,
So don’t ever say goodbye, if you must then please abuse me,
I’d cope with torment, suffer deathlike pain, so you’d think well of me,
I’d rather die in knowing that you spoke fondly of my memory.

Danyel Faddes

I Have A Dream

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:00:00 -0400

I have a dream that the world was safe,
We’d be proud to be the human race,
If no-one steals and no-one lies,
There’d be no need for cops or spies.

Where all the blacks and all the whites,
Could be friends and could unite,
A world where no-one really cares,
About your looks or the clothes you wear.

Where every person on the street,
Gets a job and gets back on their feet,
Where there’s no tears and no regrets,
Where no-one cries and no-one frets.

Nobody has to be upset,
The world’s not come to an end yet,
So there’s still time for us to prove,
That we can stop being so rude,
That we can stop being mean,
And everyone can form a team.

If every person in the world,
Respected every boy and girl,
Each teacher, mum and brother too,
Perhaps just then they would respect you.

Danyel Faddes

I Don't Like Orgies

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:28:00 -0400

Parody of The Boomtown Rats - I Don’t Like Mondays

(Just a bit of fun)

There’s a dating website for the sick and strange, where I unfortunately met,
A pair of elderly swingers, who groomed me over the internet,
They told me that they were younger, and I was broke and desperate,
They even promised they’d pay, so I said OK, but now I feel so ashamed…

Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
I don’t want to die of Aids.

A car pulled up by the side of the road, and the window was wound down,
Inside sat an old man smoking a pipe, and a granny in a dressing gown,
They smelt badly of soap and urine, the smells cancelled each other out,
I wanted to run and hide, but I got inside, said: “Love, let’s get those dentures out”…

Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
I don’t want to die of Aids, Aids, Aids, Aids, Aids…

We arrived at their little bungalow, caked in lubricant and Gaffa Tape,
I didn’t know whether to undress and wank, or run around screaming: “Rape!”,
They’re incredibly strong for OAP’s, they dragged and chained me to the bed,
I lay lonely and cold, as these two, wrinkly, old, swingers cummed onto my head…

Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like, I don’t like, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like, I don’t like, I don’t like orgies,
Tell me why, I don’t like orgies,
I don’t want to die of Aids.

Danyel Faddes

Electric Chair

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:20:00 -0400

They all wait, and can’t help but stare,
At the maniac sitting in the electric chair,
His whole body shaking, his eyes are wild,
He looks so helpless, just like a child.

The victims’ family glare with evil eyes,
The man who even his family despise,
He just looks ahead looking so lost,
But he knew what he did would eventually cost.

It cost him his family, his friends and his life,
He wishes that he never picked up that knife,
His kids in the audience, believing a lie,
Not knowing that soon, their father would die.

They still don’t know what he actually did,
The sick twisted truth was always well hid,
They seem so confused, they don’t understand,
They stand in the crowd holding each others’ hand.

He mutters “I’m sorry, I don’t want to die”,
He looks down at the floor and begins to cry,
He says his last words so shy and sincere,
Volts pass through his body as the audience cheer.

Danyel Faddes

Eaten By The Night

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:18:04 -0400

The world is slowly eating, all that’s living left inside,
Deep down there is now nothing, but torn feelings to hide,
No tissue and no organ, no sacred heart to burn,
No lectures and no carers, and no lessons left to learn,
If I never get to escape, if I never break away,
Tomorrow my opinion might have changed since yesterday,
I see the nights are feeding, and the days are growing thin,
If all there is now hope for, is a dream of me and him,
Yet through naïve closed eyes, I see the feelings fading,
I whisper and I listen at the tides constantly changing,
The stars reflect and pierce, at a lonely little girl,
Who’s heart-broken and beaten, brutally wounded by the world,
Could anybody else that night, have seen the sunlight fall?
When just one life is sacrificed, the blame is on us all.

Danyel Faddes

I love your poem "curious", very beautiful. This just made my day

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:05:10 -0400

Thank you! That means a lot, your blog is lovely :)

Curious

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:51:13 -0400

I never told my parents, but everybody knew,
There was nowhere I could turn, and nothing left that I could do,
I’d see a pretty girl in town, and die a bit inside,
While desperately trying, increasingly failing to hide,
This lie, this truth, whatever it is, it’s clear in black and white,
People speak about me, laugh at my breasts and honestly, they’re right,
It’s me who spent time running, while my friends sat kissing boys,
And for my sixteenth birthday, I asked for plastic blow up toys,
While the others lost their virginity, I sat and watched gay porn,
And ended up left miserable, lonely, fierce and torn,
My first kiss was with a straight girl, who was drunk and playing dares,
I don’t care too much for strap-ons, I just want someone to care,
We could live in a one-bed flat, our periods fall at the same time,
We could spoon and kiss and share our baths, we’d get along just fine,
But girls ‘round here aren’t curious, they’re all after big strong men,
Who can pick them up and spin them around, time and time again,
But boys are useless, boys are heartless, they don’t listen, love or feel,
I’ve got more metaphorical balls than any of them have real,
Now I’m twenty-three, living alone, losing faith in faith itself,
There’s nothing more, and nothing less, and almost nothing else,
I saw a guy, with long auburn hair, he whistles as he walks,
And he dresses so provocatively, smiles widely as he talks,
My eyes still wander from breast to breast, but part of me now thinks,
That I should approach this man and meet up for a few or twenty drinks,
We’d go back to his, ‘cos mine’s a mess, and do whatever straight girls do,
While I wonder what parts of my life have been fake, confused or true,
Damp duvets will smother us, and hairy arms will wrap around,
As I sleep and dream of what Freud would say, while not muttering a sound,
After all these years, led on by girls, it’s been well worth the wait,
Darling dear man whom I pass in town, I think you’ve turned me straight.

Danyel Faddes

Death is Not Glamorous

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:46:24 -0400

She stares at ripples of water pass by,
Thinks of her mangled body flow in with the tide.

Her final last words: “Hold your head up with pride,
Now that you have driven me to suicide”.

Lungs full of water, a river stained red,
A young life lost, cos of something you said.

Her sweet eyes glaze over, her hair full of mud,
Her body floats by, surrounded by blood.

She swims with the fish, her heart buried in sand,
Small bugs float around her decomposed hand.

She wished she had listened: “Don’t pick up the knife,
Death is not glamorous, it hurts more than life”.

Danyel Faddes

Blood and Marriage

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:31:00 -0400

I’ve been deafened by the same bells that married us,
The sun shone on my ring and blinded me forever,
Moths weaved through my dress while I was still clutching the flowers,
That petals swam off of, as I chucked it behind,
The buffet’s gone stale now, digested or left,
The plastic horseshoes have snapped like leaves on a clover,
That cake tasted awful, but none was left in the end,
My garter slid down to my ankles unlike my knickers that night,
The wine poured like red waterfalls, consistent and rough,
The best man’s speech filled me with anger and doubt,
And the bridesmaids were much prettier than me that day,
Their dresses were short, while they carried my train,
And the look in your eyes as I stumbled up to you,
Was vague and the corner of my eye seemed to stare,
The erection in your boxers was for them, not for me,
It was easy to say yes, disappointing to say no,
In my head I was already planning the divorce,
While you eyed up the women I chose to be there,
You drank too much Rose, I was left all alone,
With the bouquet in the hotel room for company,
You crawled back in the morning, it’s been the same ever since,
We had children who learnt to walk before you did,
I obsessed, collected books on the law and divorce,
I hid them in my lingerie drawer; no-one looks there anymore,
It got serious, I turned to the likes of the Wests,
Killers with more passion than we ever shared,
Sadistic compassion, all I had was a sink,
Full of dirty plates and a knife I could stab him with,
I started to notice things, even a clothes peg could do it,
If I put it over his nose while I kiss him goodnight,
A bullet full of love, at its absolutely best,
I left him with a crimson corsage on his chest.

Danyel Faddes

All Good Things

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:17:00 -0400

The way that wrapping paper hugs a cardboard box,
The way a ribbon blows with the breeze,
The way tape twists and entangles itself,
That’s the way I felt.

The way that a pillow moulds to a head,
The way that a duvet smothers a bed,
The way that a curtain meets and enfolds,
The way that a blanket keeps out the cold.

The way that a new-born puppy stares,
The way that you know a kitten cares,
The way that a parrot snaps at your hand,
The way that a fish buries itself in the sand.

The way that scissors cut harshly and glide,
Chop at your hair, with recklessness and pride,
The way that a strand falls out in your sleep,
The way that it’s mopped up and left in a heap.

In the end, we will find, it’s not as good as we’d thought,
Our dreams are all borrowed, they’re not ours; they’re not bought,
In some small new world, one day we’ll explore,
And happiness will last for a little bit more.

Danyel Faddes

Wilt

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:13:07 -0400

How long cruel hours seem to fill, as drops slip down the window pane,
While clinging to the window sill, merging into air and back again,
The lakes and oceans pierce the sky, with harsh, cold greyness while I wait,
Slow minutes seem to saunter by, for every second that you’re late,
The twisted road daunts on and sneers, each time I peer around the bends,
I must have counted, dulled by years, taunted by patience; never ends,
A head would now faintly emerge, beyond the bitterness of trees,
The sunny stars distantly submerge, and float among the flowing seas,
I know I waited hours,
Maybe days I never slept,
To open a door finding wilted flowers,
I sank, and smiled and wept.

Danyel Faddes

Elope

cosmicphoe — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:01:00 -0400

Our broken minds mend shattered hearts,
Swimming soft around with knives and darts,
Float powerless amongst washed-out debris,
Of all that once survived of you and me,
Our collective life, stuck, anchored down,
The crisp, clean whiteness, goldens brown.
Smiling dreams, eloped hands wash ashore,
Though hands can hit and smiles can fall,
In the vast distance, through the setting sun,
Silhouettes of days when we were young,
Transpires through rich reds and blues,
Depicting our whole bodies bruised.
Suns rise to shine on brand new lives,
To whisper ‘morning’, open eyes,
Observe the beauty, notice love,
In fields and stars and skies above,
Let’s run and laugh and sing and play,
They’re only feelings, they’ll go away.

Danyel Faddes